Saegusa U-ka IN db/Itsumo Sugao no Watashi de Itai

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Itsumo Sugao no Watashi de Itai
(I Always Want to Be Myself)

Saegusa U-ka IN db



Romaji English

Ano koro no watashi wa suki na mono wo
Suki da to ienai
Kawaii to chuumoku sareru dareka no
Mane wo shite iru koto de
Nan to naku anshin suru onna no ko deshita

Jibun no peesu de aruku yori
Mawari to hohaba awasete aruku
Toki no nama nurusa ga
Totemo igokochi yokatta no desu

Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni
Itsu datte kokoro wa atsugeshou
Muri wo shite demo jibun wo
Oshi koroshite ita no wa
Hito ni kirawareru no ga kowakatta kara

Nando korondatte tachiagatte kita no wa
Mawari wo uragiru you de tsurakatta kara?
Sore to mo dareka ni misuterarete shimau koto wo
Zutto osoreteta kara?

Dareka ni homeraretai wake ja nai keredo
Tokidoki jibun no shiteru koto ga
Hontou ni shitai koto na no ka wakaranaku naru yo

Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni
Warattenai to kuzuresou ni naru
Senobi bakari shite jibun wo
Yoku miseyou to shiteru no wa
Ano koro mo ima mo taishite kawattenai

Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni
Itsu datte kokoro wa atsugeshou
Muri wo shite demo jibun wo
Oshi koroshite ita no wa
Hito ni kirawareru no ga kowakatta kara

Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni
Warattenai to kuzuresou ni naru
Senobi bakari shite jibun wo
Yoku miseyou to shiteru no wa
Ano koro mo ima mo taishite kawattenai

Back then I couldn't say
I liked what I liked
Because I was just copying someone
Who everyone thought was cute
And that made me feel somehow secure

Rather than going at my own pace
I was matching my step with others around me
And that halfheartedness
Was very comfortable

I always want to be myself
But my heart is wearing layers of makeup
The reason I forced myself
To stifle who I really was
Is because I was afraid people wouldn't like me

Is the reason I got up again after so many failures
Because it hurt to betray those around me?
Or was I just always afraid
Someone would abandon me?

It's not that I want praise from anyone
But sometimes I just don't know
If what I'm doing is what I really want to do

I always want to be myself
But I feel like I'm going to crumble if I don't smile
The reason I overreach
And try to make myself look better
Is because I still haven't really changed

I always want to be myself
But my heart is wearing layers of makeup
The reason I forced myself
To stifle who I really was
Is because I was afraid people wouldn't like me

I always want to be myself
But I feel like I'm going to crumble if I don't smile
The reason I overreach
And try to make myself look better
Is because I still haven't really changed