Saegusa U-ka IN db/Itsumo Sugao no Watashi de Itai

Itsumo Sugao no Watashi de Itai
(I Always Want to Be Myself)

Saegusa U-ka IN db

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Romaji

English

Ano koro no watashi wa suki na mono wo Suki da to ienai Kawaii to chuumoku sareru dareka no Mane wo shite iru koto de Nan to naku anshin suru onna no ko deshita Jibun no peesu de aruku yori Mawari to hohaba awasete aruku Toki no nama nurusa ga Totemo igokochi yokatta no desu Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni Itsu datte kokoro wa atsugeshou Muri wo shite demo jibun wo Oshi koroshite ita no wa Hito ni kirawareru no ga kowakatta kara Nando korondatte tachiagatte kita no wa Mawari wo uragiru you de tsurakatta kara? Sore to mo dareka ni misuterarete shimau koto wo Zutto osoreteta kara? Dareka ni homeraretai wake ja nai keredo Tokidoki jibun no shiteru koto ga Hontou ni shitai koto na no ka wakaranaku naru yo Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni Warattenai to kuzuresou ni naru Senobi bakari shite jibun wo Yoku miseyou to shiteru no wa Ano koro mo ima mo taishite kawattenai Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni Itsu datte kokoro wa atsugeshou Muri wo shite demo jibun wo Oshi koroshite ita no wa Hito ni kirawareru no ga kowakatta kara Itsumo sugao no watashi de itai no ni Warattenai to kuzuresou ni naru Senobi bakari shite jibun wo Yoku miseyou to shiteru no wa Ano koro mo ima mo taishite kawattenai

Back then I couldn't say I liked what I liked Because I was just copying someone Who everyone thought was cute And that made me feel somehow secure Rather than going at my own pace I was matching my step with others around me And that halfheartedness Was very comfortable I always want to be myself But my heart is wearing layers of makeup The reason I forced myself To stifle who I really was Is because I was afraid people wouldn't like me Is the reason I got up again after so many failures Because it hurt to betray those around me? Or was I just always afraid Someone would abandon me? It's not that I want praise from anyone But sometimes I just don't know If what I'm doing is what I really want to do I always want to be myself But I feel like I'm going to crumble if I don't smile The reason I overreach And try to make myself look better Is because I still haven't really changed I always want to be myself But my heart is wearing layers of makeup The reason I forced myself To stifle who I really was Is because I was afraid people wouldn't like me I always want to be myself But I feel like I'm going to crumble if I don't smile The reason I overreach And try to make myself look better Is because I still haven't really changed